All by Myself

An infant is completely helpless. He can’t talk, understand speech, feed himself, walk, crawl or even roll over. The months and years slip by quickly, though, and soon the little guy is wanting to do everything independently. Mom, don’t lift me into bed at night. I can climb that mattress mountain all by myself. Dad, let go of the bicycle seat. I can ride all by myself. Grandma, don’t help me hold the milk carton. I can pour all by myself. Oops!

Growing independent is natural and healthy. A child never becomes an adult without taking risks, pushing away from parental control, and assuming personal responsibility. “When I was a child,” says Paul, “I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways” (1 Cor. 13:11). The mature Christian is therefore someone who thinks for himself and carries his own burdens: “Each man will have to bear his own load” (Gal. 6:5).

However, achieving absolute independence is emotionally and spiritually unhealthy. God has designed us so that we function best in relationship with others. This explains his establishment of the home and the church. Striving to go it alone, to handle my problems “all by myself,” leads to isolation, frustration, and failure.

At a youth event some years ago, I heard an excellent message presented by Van Vansandt, who at the time served as the preaching minister at the Leoma Church of Christ in Tennessee. That evening he told the teens about a young man who had recently come down the aisle and asked for the church’s prayers. The confession he made to the elder receiving him was simple but eloquent: “I’ve tried to make it by myself, but I can’t do it.”