Satan’s Facebook Page

Written by Eric Welch [Eric is the preaching minister of the Hamburg Pike congregation in Jeffersonville, IN.]
You wake up in the morning and sit at the computer before going to school. You get to your Facebook page and notice that you have a friend request from Satan. He really wants to be your friend. The picture beside his name makes him look like he’d be a great friend. He has a big smile, and there’s nothing ugly about him at all. He sends a message along with his request:
“Add me and you will have the time of your life. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can live free from anyone telling you what to do or how to live. Anyway, I can offer you anything you want. Don’t worry about the God thing. He exists but he’s so-o-o boring! He wants to take the fun out of your life. But if you just have to, check out those religions that don’t require God, like Buddhism. In these faiths I’ve got some pretty good friends in high places—or maybe I should say low places. LOL. I kill me! Oh, be sure and check out my information page to learn more about me
… My BFFs put ‘Christian’ on their ‘religious views.’ That puts me in stitches every time because many of their favorite books, video games, movies and TV shows are also MY favorites. Such hypocrites! But hypocrites are my favorite people because they destroy the thing I hate the most on the earth—God’s church. Speaking of church, my favorite quotes are actually Bible verses! Yeah, really. I love it when people quote the ‘Judge not’ verse. You know, Matthew 7:1. Nah, I bet you didn’t know where to find that verse. I know the Bible very well. My favorite word is ‘not.’ I have a great job, and I love my job working with people. If you red tagged all the places I’ve been, the whole earth would be one big red ball! If Facebook ever came out with an award for having the most Facebook friends, I’d win hands down every—single–time. Thanks in advance for the add. One day we’ll hook up, like, forever!”